Conversation – 15

Rethinking Complaining

When we spend all of our time complaining, we are in essence in constant destroy mode rather than building mode.

We all know someone who has elevated the process of complaining to a high art. Sometimes funny, sometimes exhausting, these people have the ability to find a problem just about anywhere. In its more evolved form, complaining is simply the ability to see what’s not working, in one’s own life or in the external world, and it can be quite useful if followed to its natural conclusion–finding a solution and applying it. However, many of us don’t get that far, and we find that complaining has become an end in itself. In small doses, this is not a big problem, but if complaining has become a huge part of our identities, it may be time to take a good look at how we are spending our energy.

Complaining is a person’s way of acknowledging that they are not happy with the way things are. In a metaphorical way, when we complain or criticize, we are tearing down an undesirable structure in order to make room for something new. But if all we do is tear down, never bothering to summon the creative energy required to create something new, we are not fulfilling the process. In fact, we are at risk for becoming a stagnant and destructive force in our own lives and in the lives of the people we love. Another issue with complaining is that we sometimes tend to focus on other people, whom we can’t change, as a way of deflecting attention from the one person we can change–ourselves. So transforming complaining into something useful is a twofold process that begins with turning our critical eye to look at things we can actually do something about, and then taking positive action.

When we find ourselves complaining, the last thing we need to do is get down on ourselves. Instead, we can begin by noticing that we are in the mode of wanting to make some changes. But rather than lashing out at somebody or an organization, we can look for an appropriate place to channel this energy–not our neighbor’s house, but possibly parts of our own. Finally, we can ask ourselves the positive question of what we would like to create in the place of whatever it is we want to tear down. When we do this, we channel a negative habit into a creative process, thus using our energy to change the world around us in a positive way.

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Manic Monday
The Bangles

Six o’clock already
I was just in the middle of a dream
I was kissin’ Valentino
By a crystal blue Italian stream
But I can’t be late
‘Cause then I guess I just won’t get paid
These are the days
When you wish your bed was already made

It’s just another manic Monday
I wish it was Sunday
‘Cause that’s my fun day
My I don’t have to run day
It’s just another manic Monday

Have to catch an early train
Got to be to work by nine
And if I had an air-o-plane
I still couldn’t make it on time
‘Cause it takes me so long
Just to figure out what I’m gonna wear
Blame it on the train
But the boss is already there

All of the nights
Why did my lover have to pick last night
To get down
Doesn’t it matter
That I have to feed the both of us
Employment’s down
He tells me in his bedroom voice
C’mon honey, let’s go make some noise
Time it goes so fast
When you’re having fun

@loaf,

I know you had a handful and get some rest I know you enjoyed your day. ♥
Prayers to the family. ♥ I so want to see the Hanna Mansion. 🙂

@mcpoopoo,

I hope you had a great Mother’s Day. ♥ Thinking of you a lot is going on in your City. 🙂
My cousin and his family live there this would be his first Mother’s Day without his Mom.
My precious Aunt who passed in February. We all miss her. ♥

Anyway I was thinking of you and I am wishing you a great Monday too. ♥

Cherie,

That is so sweet! I remember those days Trust in a few years after college your mother’s day
will be a little different. ♥ I will take whatever I can get with my kids as far as age goes.♥
Cherie enjoy these days they don’t last long. Sounds like you had a great day too.♥ I feel
Mother’s Day is everyday. 🙂

Good Morning Cherie. ♥
I did have a delightful Mother’s Day. ♥ My son and husband really went all out.
My daughters face-time me and we will all get together this summer. 🙂

I called my mom and all my siblings was at her house having a great time. Let’s just
say I will see my Mom soon. ♥

I love the pic you made for me.♥ That is me for sure. Thank you for that. Cherie have
a great day and it is a beautiful Monday. 🙂

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Happy Mothers Day Sheba♥

Hey Sheba Dear …. Cherie Hopes ALL MOMS had a Great Day. Started off the morning with “breakfast in bed”, you know some morsels that were unrecognizable …. I stuck with the toast & Juice. Then in comes the little crafts …. So cute. Mothers day would NOT be complete with out macaroni jewelry …. Right. Then Hubby took the kids to both Grandma’s places to spread the wealth, giving Cherie “ME Time” … a peaceful morning. All decked out by 3, then it’s Dinner time ( the real food & Jewels come out now). Sounds like you had a Wonderful Mothers Day. Sheba♥ you are so thoughtful, you are One of a Kind Take care … Take care ALL

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