Widows, Widowers, Divorced…question
This is a personal matter, I know, and don’t mean to offend, but I’m curious as to how long you waited before removing your wedding ring after you lost your spouse through death or divorce. I’m asking because a QVC host is no longer wearing his wedding ring. He lost his wife earlier this year, I believe, through cancer. I’m such a romantic that I’d probably wear my ring forever if I was widowed. With a divorce, I couldn’t get the ring off fast enough.
My aunt wears her wedding rings from her first husband on her right hand, he died and death does not lesson their love that they had together for many years, and death of a spouse is not planned or a choice.
She wears her new husband’s rings on her left hand. This is pretty common with a lot of people we know.
Her new husband wears his late wife’s rings on a chain around his neck. Some widows and widowers choose not to take off their rings at all, and others do. It really doesn’t mean anything in the terms of loving a spouse less, just that people are different.
My uncle has been a widower for 15 years, he has no plans to remarry, and he still wears his ring. He dates and enjoys the company of women, but has no interest in a committed relationship. He believes he will be reunited with his wife. Each to his own.
My husband and I don’t wear wedding rings, we are not into them, but if I was, I wouldn’t wear a wedding ring after a divorce.
Personally, when I divorced, I did remove my ring. I think it is an individual preference.
My Dad passed away, 30 yrs ago, my Mom still wears her wedding band. She always said he was the only man for her. She was telling the truth! My friend, who was a survivor of domestic abuse…took her band off as soon as she got to the “safe house”. Things seemed to go smoothly for a while. She got divorced, got the house & a great position with a large company. Within 18 months he murdered her in front of their 16 yr old son. My sister lost a husband to cancer. She wore her wedding band for several years. Eventually, she met an amazing man. They married a couple years ago. She is deliciously happy!
My dad wore his ring and my mom’s ring on a chain around his neck. I am not going to make assumptions about someone for removing their ring. I don’t walk in their shoes.
I hope you’re not implying that this host did not really love his wife or that there’s something wrong with him not wearing his ring nearly a year after he lost the woman to whom he devoted a lifetime. Have you read his blogs about her? Clearly, they had a wonderful marriage and he cared for her until the end. He seems to have had a difficult time with his grief as indicated in his blogs.
I know someone who became a widow at a young age nine years ago. She has never moved on, and it has not served her well. As painful as such a loss is, it is doubly painful if people refuse to move on with their lives. Those who lose a spouse much later in life might be content to stay single, but for many younger people it’s not the best option. Anyone who loses a beloved spouse would be foolish to see remarrying or just finding a companion as a betrayal of their lost love. It can be a second chance worth taking.
It will be 15 years next month, on 9/11, since my husband passed and I still wear my rings. Since I have no plans to remarry they will stay with me until the very end. But this is truly an individual choice.:heart:
Married 38 yrs hopefully forever.
Thru death I would continue to wear my rings. In the past and maybe present many women put their wedding ring on their right hand, but to me that says they are looking! I would never be looking (of course I really wouldnt know unless it happens but this is what I think now).
Divorced…cannot even imagine that especially at our ages.
I never wore my ring on a constant basics and my husband didn’t either.I never really associated my ring to anything other than the symbol of marriage nor if wearing or not wearing it made the marriage.We lived a casual,beach,water,active type lifestyle when not working and never really wanted to wear jewelry while doing those activities.
Our life was turned upside down seemingly overnight when he was diagnosed with terminal cancer.We had six months and we had already taken the rings off and stored them away before he passed away so I never saw a reason to put them back on and re-live the emotional stress of seeing my rings on a constant basics.I focused on my young son and tried to move forward..Rings are just a symbol and he probably removed it so he could move on.There is no point in trying to hold on to what has already gone.
Took it off the same year of her passing? That means something, IMHO.
Lucky for me I have never been in that situation..
My Sister removed and sold her rings as soon as she threw him out of the house..
A friend of mine ..when his wife died after a few months ..He took his ring off..
he put his wedding ring and her’s on a chain around his neck to keep them close to his heart..
Divorced, the rings came off the minute I opened the door and said bye bye.:smileyhappy:
I think I would wear my rings forever if I was widowed, even if I remarried the rings would move to the other hand or be worn in some other fashion, maybe on a necklace.
Posted in Talk Among Yourselves
09.02.16 9:14 PM