I’m mourning the loss of my daughter
no, she is alive, BUT, I had to set her free. She has stolen from me repeatly, has taken sooo much, I can’t afford to have her around anymore. She was my sweet, little princess, I am heartbroken and so very sad. Yes, I am mourning her loss. I can’t begin to tell you all,she has done, but use your imagination, and it’s probably true of her.
I know there are bereavement groups for,when you lose a child in death, but where should I go to get support for losing a child who is still alive. She has a beautiful little boy, also (out of wedlock, of course). I have not heard from her because the last time she was here, she stole some of my favorite jewelry, quarters I won at card bingo, and my husband’s pain killers. I keep on thinking she turned over a new leaf but then, bang, again.
To to compound my sadness is my husband’s battle with stage 4 melanoma. When it rains, it pours.
i just would like this sadness to go away. I too preoccupied with this. Believe me when I tell you she was a beautiful little girl, who was, and still is, very much loved.
I can’t even imagine what you’re going through!
I want to tell you how proud I am of you for having the strength to decide she can’t be in your life at this time. Enabling her to access things of value, money, and drugs will only further her bad behavior. It takes a lot of real love to do the hard things in life that are best sometimes. You have to love yourself and know you don’t deserve that kind of treatment, and loving her does not mean enabling her.
Perhaps you can look into addiction support groups for spouses and parents of addicted people. I imagine something probably exists.
Stay strong! Sometimes the right thing is the hardest thing.
No words are going to heal your broken heart right now. I can’t even begin to imagine what you are going through. I can only say my prayers are with you and also with your very ill husband. I have heard of so many cases of kids that just somehow find themselves on the wrong road. The hurt they cause their families is catastrophic. You are not alone. When you are ready – I suggest you try and find a local support group. You have already taken a huge step just in telling us your story. There are countless people here that will embrace you and give you as much support as we can. But a local support group will put a face to the people you are talking to. My sincere hopes that your daughter turns around and sees the very poor choice of roads she has taken very soon. But in the meantime – drugs screw people up – you are whole – and you my friend I send many prayers too. Your daughter’s choices are hers – please remember that. Hang onto your husband – he is in need of all the love and support you can give him right now. You have only been the one to have to clean up after your daughter’s very poor choices and none of this reflects upon you. I applaud you having found the strength to let her go – for now anyhow.
Prayers go to out you for your loss and your husband health issues.
May Good Bless and keep you safe in the palms of his hands.
Peace and love always.
smartbiddy it is wonderful that you still have that love for your daughter and the memories of when she was a baby, toddler, young adult. If she is an only child sometimes they get off track in life through the choices they make and allow in their lives. She is suffering too it sounds like to me and the addiction may make her look uncaring. I will send out prayer for you both to heal from the heart to the soul of matters. You need to talk to a support group or go to a nearby church and ask for a Stephen Minister to talk with, and they just may be able to guide you to people that will lift your spirits so that you can take care of your husband and know how to better cope with your daughter , therefore making you a woman of strength and caring that others will look up to and perhaps someday you will be able to help others who have walked this pathway also.
Blessings to you
Prayers for strength and courage to get you through these troubled times. Special prayers for your husband and daughter that they may heal. Please know that many have walked in your shoes and that there is light at the end of the tunnel. You are not alone in this and all of us are here to help you in whatever way we can.:heart:
I can feel your pain through your words. There is, indeed, a “language” to tears. Even if a little, I trust that the love you have from all of us helps you not feel so alone. When we have a broken heart it goes on beating just the same. Please know you’re being prayed for, that grace,wisdom, clarity and comfort be multiplied to you. ((HUGS)) :heart::heart::heart:
I highly recommend these books written by father and son.
Beautiful Boy: A Father’s Journey Through His Son’s Addiction
by David Sheff
Tweak: Growing Up on Methamphetamines
by Nic Sheff
I wish everyone on here the very best. Very Courageous to come out and do this.
Blessings to you all.
? I am so happy that the members here have been supportive. I am even happier to hear that u r going to attend Al-Anon. My experience w the Anonymous groups have been nothing but positive. I attended CA (Cocaine-Anon) when I was ready and have not used for 7 years. I have not had a drink in 6 years. I am not ashamed to share this, bc it shows that anything is possible. I will, no doubt, pray for u and your daughter and the rest of your family.
I think you have endured more than anyone I have
My thoughts and prayers are with you:heart:
God be with you. Best of luck to everyone.
I am sorry to hear what you are going through. I am speaking from not only my heart, but from experience. All of the information below is good advise for you. Just to give you a little background of my life, My son was killed by my x-husband, my other son was in an auto accident due to a drunk driver. I had to seek help for my daughter and myself, my daughter hated me for getting her help, she ran away from home at the age of 18. She is now 38 with a family and contacted me later stating she was glad that I had done what I did, because otherwise she would of most likely ended up dead and would not live to have a family. She now understands Tough Love and that you cannot help a person that does not want help, so when your daughter wants help or to get better, she will come back to you, it will only take time, she will understand. I lost both parents, a brother and a sister within 6 months. then the following year lost my other sister. I was in an accident that left me in a wheelchair for 8 yrs. I then came down with cancer and have fought it. I received a clean bill of health yesterday. I am ready for my sadness to be over and start living. God has a plan for everyone, and by getting help from all the below will help you get through it. We will all pray for your and you will always have your HSN family here to support you .
I’m so glad I came here again to see all of your encouraging replies. I will seek out al anon. I once had a friend who went and it helped her a lot. Thanks for that suggestion and for all your kind words. You all really did make me feel better, and for that I’m am very grateful.
This is the third time I’ve tried to write this, only to have it disappear into the Arcadian ether after it was posted and no auto-save. You and your family are in crisis, and it’s part of a national epidemic. Go to their website (al-anon.org) for info. on whether it’s right for you, how it works, and meetings. You can also find a meeting that works for you by calling toll-free at 1-888-425-2666. They can give you not only support (the’ve seen it all when it comes to alcoholics and/or addicts); but access to positive coping tools and techniques, as well as spiritual strength and growth. There’s a ton of info. online; I’d stick to reputable non-profits (like sites ending with .org, .edu, or .gov), Google “mothers of addicts support groups” and you’ll find the online support group on Facebook. Whatever you do, please don’t try and go it alone! Professional help from a good therapist experienced in treating families of addiction, grief,and loss could prove invaluable. May God bless you, your daughter, and your husband. May he also give you strength and courage to reach out and get support for you and your family! Best wishes, ??
So sorry to hear what you are going through with your daughter. I hope things change for you, and you can reconcile with her in the near future. In the meantime, I have heard Al-Anon is a pretty good support group from family members of people with addictions. It seems this might be a good place for you to start looking for an in person community support system.
Posted in Talk Among Yourselves
07.28.16 10:03 PM