My baby is leaving for the Uniiversity in about 3 weeks.
When I should be feeling proud,all of a sudden I feel heartbroken.
Any words of advice for me.
By the way,my son is someone that makes you so "HAPPY" to be around.
He’s so positive,loving and such a wonderful kid.
How did you deal with this??? Meaning I’m gonna miss that awesome attitude!
If you can believe it,Iv’e heard comments that some parents can’t wait for their kids to leave???
I just want to let you know I am thinking about you as you embark on this new page in your life. I would also like to add that I believe you have done a great job raising your son. I truly believe it is a sign of successful parenting when our children leave home and begin to their journey as adults.
I also thought of another thing that helped me adjust to my son leaving home: care packages. It was fun shopping for snacks, toiletries, gift cards, and even toys to stuff into a flat rate box to send to him. I’d look for snacks that he loved as a child and for other things that would remind him of his earlier days.
His first birthday away from home was greatly missed. He was in tech school so we couldn’t share his day with him. His second birthday away my husband bought me an airline ticket so I could go have some one on one time with our son. It was so much fun to see the city he was living in and having him take me sight seeing. And even though the trip was for his birthday, he treated me to a very special dinner at Medieval Times.
I am praying for you and for your son!
Hello, I am Girlygirl57 from Illinois and I too am a empty nester I’m trying to adjust but it isn’t easy. My daughter and her husband along with the kids moved to GA. I retired from the Army and ended up with some serious medical issues and my husband left. Yes the phone, Internet, and Skype help some of the time, but it is nothing like feeling those arms around me. I’m glad I got this tablet and wi-fi, I thought it was just for the shopping but I have met some very lovely and seemingly genuine people. I am really enjoying the contacts I have had these past couple of days. Thanks for being so receptive to another empty nester. Now I have more to do than just watch, order and becoming to know the UPS man by his first name. He’s so good we have established a code for when I won’t be home so he can leave my packages where no one will get them. Tee-Hee. HSN is just like having X-mas all year long! Thanks again!
It is hard when they leave the nest. However, it is a sign of a "work of love" well done. You will be amazed to see your son as he grows through this new journey. You will be able to connect with him online, texting, and phone calls. And it will seem like a long time but it will be Thanksgiving and Christmas before you know it.
When my boys left home I would constantly remind myself of how much I loved my new gained feeling of freedom when I left for college.
It was much easier when my youngest left home. My eldest joined the military and we did not get to hear from him (no texts, no phone calls, etc.) for a long time. I was attached to my cell phone 24/7 just in case he got to call!
To help me through this transition, I made friends with an oline group of military moms. Having other moms going through the same thing was very helpful. It’s been years now and we are still in contact with each other. We support each other through the bumps in life and celebrate the joys in life. We pray for each other and for our families.
Had to dig this up.
2 weeks and counting and I’m not myself.
What an empty feeling!
Bless all of you before me!
To everyone who took the time to reply….
You’ve all touched my heart …Thank You!:heart:
JMC…Our sons left home 2 years apart BOTH going into the mililtary from high school as they weren’t sure what they wanted to do "when they grew up". Son #1 leaving was a huge adjustment…the house got quieter, but still super busy with one more at home…but it still felt odd to me…
But when Son #2 left…I thought it was going to be a hard adjustment, but my husband had other ideas…
A week before Son #2 left, we moved my MIL in with us. So, here both sons were gone, and I didn’t get to feel that empty nest feeling. It wasn’t empty…I got a replacement. For another 8 years. I didn’t have to think about how to fill my time…it was filled for me. And tho we lost her several years ago, now I have my Mother to fill my time. So, I am just now finding out what a quiet house is like.
But, both sons, thrived, went overseas into the war zones, and thank GOD survived…and came home every chance they had, or we went where they were. Phone calls, texts and now Skype help so much. One is still in the military in Alaska…one is out and living 400 miles away.
But it’s been 15 years since the last son left…we are so proud of the fine men they have become…wonderful fathers and husbands…citizens…
But, my point is…we raise them to let them go. As hard as that is to do, it’s our job as parents. You trust you did your best, and pray for God to watch over them…and let them go. And be there when that phone call come that says "Mom, I need to talk to you." And it will come. Mine did, and still do.
You’ll get thru it just like we all did and you’ll be amazed at all the things that you’ll find to do now. Just give yourself time. It’s a new time in YOUR life too. Take advantage of it. There is more to you than "MOM".
When our daughter married and moved out it was hard on my wife. She lives nearby today and mom sees her often. Have to mention it wasn’t more than a few months that passed that she had a surprise for mom/grandmom…Ronnie
jmc, I know the feeling. I drove my daughter to college and helped her unpack and set up her room. I was going to stay a week to ‘help’ her. But, her suite mates and she were getting to know each other and I realized I just needed to go. I left, I cried, she cried but she was alright. She graduated with her under grad degree has a job, lives 800 miles away. We call and text regularly. She is an amazing young woman and I am proud of her.
I fill my time with various projects and I do volunteer work. I won’t say you won’t miss him because you will but it gets easier.
Yes, mine all left too. One headed for the service, two went the state university. It was when my last one left that it sunk in. I just kept thinking about what wonderful kids I had raised and that they were off on an adventure of their lifetime and to just be proud of all their accomplishments. Go see them when you get a chance, and they will come see you. They will want to come home too, for visits. Its when they get jobs after their degrees when you see less of them. I have one overseas attending school in Europe. Getting his masters. He just left 2 days ago and even my hubby mentioned how much he missed him, and those were the two who argued the most! Now you re-do your home. Find hobbies, and volunteer. I volunteered for 6 years at our local crisis agency. I do photography, and just this past week, I received from HSN some canvases to paint. I’ve always wanted to paint and the canvses with paint and brush and video are on clearance for $8.50 plus free shipping!
Sadly, the way you know you were a successful parent is when your kids go off on their own 🙁
Your son will miss you, too, and he will want to stay in close contact.
I’m absolutely no help at all! I cried and cried when my son left for his undergrad degree and I cried even more when he left to go to grad school because I knew he was never coming back home. When my daughter left I was devastated but I did visit her frequently…much too frequently probably!
I cried when my oldest son went away to college 3 hours away. I gave myself a migraine. Hang in there!
Thanks,massha….appreciate what you have to say.
He’s going to school out of state….scholarships….woohoo!
I can visit some 5 hours away.I just can’t believe how fast they grow up.
And ,like you said I’ll have to get used to it:smileyfrustrated:
You get used to it. You do other things to occupy yourself, and start taking more expensive and involved care of your pets… Luckily, there is Skype, so you can Skype and chat with your kid often and it is really nice. Skype or Google hangouts. He will be coming home for holidays, too, so the nest is not THAT empty yet. How far away is he going to school? Mine luckily went to school in the same town I was, so I could lure him in most any time I felt like it [food works every time LOL; just call and say ‘hey, how’s about some burgers?" or Chinese or whatever he likes.]
My son now lives a few hours away, so we do not get to meet in person that much, but we do every now and then, and all the major holidays. We do Google hangouts a lot.
I have no clue how some parents are wanting for their kids to leave. If I had my choice, I’d always leave at least close by.
Have you considered free classes on Coursera and the like? Now ilwl be a good time for you to start a free class about something interesting. Or a craft class at one of the craft stores. Or maybe do more volunteering, get on the board for a school or something. I did each a little bit.
Posted in Talk Among Yourselves
08.18.15 7:39 AM