Need ideas for a senior!
My MIL just turned 90 in March. After years and years of me trying to convince her (like over 35 years!); she has finally decided to wake up her make up!!! Only problem is that she has NEVER cared about beauty and looking more polished and feminine. She still colors her hair a deep black and being from the Northern European country of Poland, her skin is quite pale ~ almost pasty. And because she has never taken good care of her skin, in terms of proper cleansing, moisturising, exfoliating, etc.. She now has more wrinkles and sagging than she would have, if she took care of herself. She even has blackheads at 90 y/o!
My daughter is getting married in the early autumn of this year and I think it has finally realized that no matter how old you are….you can improve your skin for the better!
SO LADIES…help me pick out a good cleanser, moisturiser and make up brand. Whether it be here, another E-retailor, or my first instinct due to her age and the fact she doesn’t give me the feeling she will continue any regime, or from the red bullseye store??? I originally thought the bullseye; because of her age and not practising any regime until now! I don’t know if I’m allowed to mention other brands here or not? Otherwise I would tell you my ideas.
Please answer and help me to get this quite senior woman to look pretty art least until the wedding! Thanks in advance! ??
I am laughing hysterically too! Your a gutte neshumah no doubt. These holidays I miss my Bubs yummy feasts. She let me drink wine…just a few sips. Oh my and her hugs.
May you enjoy your festivities during Pesach and Easter. Going to get some Macaroons later. Baruch Hashem. Sending love ? and hugs!
Rachel…I am platzing here with all this! Oy gevalt!
Oops Maasha..that’s happy Easter or Passover or if you don’t celebrate either then a lovely weekend!
Don’t be sad Masha,
Please smile and have a very happy . . It’s a holiday weekend! Get some yummy candy and indulge! These things happen and nothing to take to heart. ? .
Oy vey. Once again, I notice with sadness how signs of disagreement are labeled as bullying. Really makes me unhappy.
There was no intention to be hurtful. You can’t help how others interpret what you say. And yes I am entitled to an opinion and it did pertain to beauty. I don’t think that it’s necessary that you provide instructions although I understand that your saying if someone may not agree I should be quiet. Nah…that’s not right. I am not in fear. Nor do I intend to instigate malice. If you disagree it’s not an attack. Just ignore it. People continue to accuse.me of being horrible but somehow I don’t feel that way or want any apology. So my post was taken badly. Not everyone agrees. But we don’t have the right to tell people what they should write either. You have a wonderful Easter!
:womanhappy: Oh Cindy, God Bless Your Mom, she’s glowing, beautiful:) She’s so filled with happiness and total Glowing in and OUT:) Thank you for sharing with the HSN Community, and I am enjoying your post. Angels are Beautiful:heart:xoxxo Toffeexoxoxo You know when the love is showing, we don’t even look at hair color, nor a line!! xoxoxoxo Hugs, have a Beautiful Holiday…xoxoxo
NJMom…this is MY 89 yr old Polish Grandmother just before leaving for the church on my wedding day. Over 25 years ago and I miss her so much. No black hair..but miminal make up…just lipstick in a darker shade of pink. She looked spectacular! Weddings are stressful enough without taking all the negative around here on your shoulders…don’t let it get to you.
How about taking her, if possible, to a good make up counter at a good store? Let them help you with what she wants? But I have found, that with age, comes a beauty all their own. And she is going to be beaming from the happiness of her great granddaughter getting married! Best wishes to the Bride and groom!
?Dearest NJMOM, New Jersey here also:)Hope you are enjoying the beautiful Spring weather today, and also for your family. Most of the family is from Italy, the women enjoy getting their hair done once a week, same day, same time, etc. I just wanted to wish Your Lovely Daughter an Enchanting Beautiful Day, sending her many years of Blessed Happiness.
I am certain your Daughters wedding will turn out lovely, I am sure everything will fall into place, and I will say a Prayer for your Mother In Law, she will look amazing. Take pictures, enjoy, and Toast To Your Daughters New Life. Don’t stress, please…. Enjoy:)From our Family to Yours, We Send You A Blessed Holiday. xoxox ToffeeDudexoxoxo
Difference of opinions are just that. People get defensive and that’s human nature. Not everyone agrees with the philosophy of live and let live. What makes each one if us special is our differences and priorities. We all have our own ideas of beauty which doesn’t make any of us bad people. Beauty is too often judged by the exterior. Beautiful people are also the ones who don’t necessarily match our own practices and match up to image standards we have grown to believe true by media. Beauty really is skin deep. Images of glowing skin and perfect makeup with a modern hip haircut looks great but does it make for a beautiful person?
I’d like to thanks those of you who gave me true ideas and support. It means a lot to me to get different points of view.
However….there have been many bullies hiding behind the computer screen and frankly it disgusts me!
I.posted a topic about helping my elderly MIL look and feel pretty for my daughters wedding. We went through this almost 2 years ago for our eldest sons wedding. And happily, here we are again. I didn’t write my entire story of the past 40 yrs., since I met my MIL. Didn’t think it was necessary and quite frankly a lot of things I prefer to keep private. There were several genuinely kind and helpful responses. Yay…there are other women who’ve gone thru this too. And then all the bullies came out to play. And without knowing me, or even reading the post in its entirety….they started to berate me, tell me I’m ungrateful, and I shouldn’t force what I want on my 90 y/o MIL. Listen up buddies….you just shot yourselves in the foot
. You know nothing about my life, my mother in law’s or the circumstances. If you had read the post I said "she asked me!" My DD and I picked out 3 dresses in two sizes for each dress and she chose the one she wanted. It was our gift to her. Then she asked for new foundation garments which we are working on. What was once a simple girdle is now body shaping. Very complicared for her. The same thing with the make up and hair. She brought up the subject because her beautician as she calls her from the old days, was the one to first suggest she should consider lightening her hair as it was getting harder to cover. My MIL has never in her adult life washed her own hair. She goes every Friday afternoon and gets shampoos set and sprayed, very heavily sprayed and that’s it for a week!
. The same thing with make up. My MIL knows we are into all that and asked us. And she said as long as I can look nice for the wedding. You "ladies" missed the whole point and used me to bully and endlessly try to hurt me. You don’t know me, the type of person I am, I happen to be an RN of 35 years. Now on early retirement due to lifting a patient who was sitting and coded. I was the only RN in the building at the time and it was my duty to lead the code. I injured my back terribly and have had four related surgeries. I am in constant pain 24/7. And my position in this facility…."Eldercare Advocate"!!! Yep. I happen to love seniors and probably have a better bond with the elderly in general. Not just my family. I just am shocked by the venomous comments hurled at me yesterday. Maybe you all who basically brought me to tears, should take a look in the mirror and do a little soul searching. I’m done…..this is just to negative and hurtful!
GRACE ~ Is much more than a little prayer we should say before receiving a meal. It is a state by which to LIVE. ??
Karebair…you make me cry. I just hope that when I am old, pasty and wrinkly that someone will see me and love me and not be terrified at what nature has done to me. I am hurting badly today and couldn’t stand to shower. I don’t probably smell great but I know you would hold my hand and hug me. As a nurse I see how cruel age and illness can be to most. Your a beautiful woman and I am sure you rock your eyeliner like I wear my patched jeans with holes on my knees. ?? I remember stress from family weddings and now I just can look at the videos and watch my wrinkly grandmothers and wish I could polish their nails, fix their pink lipstick and tell them I love them. I don’t have a mom for a long time because she died at 64 from pancreatic cancer. I get it’s a beauty forum but there’s plenty if beauty left in the beauty of natural aging. Skincare and makeup is just something we do here in excess. Who ever said wrinkles and sagging skin are ugly. Look at Adrienne Arpel. She would never have a facelift. Isn’t she gorgeous?
Some people are waaay too critical and sentimental. My understanding is that you need an advice and support, not judgement. MILANI make-up brand carried by very generic retailers is FANTASTIC for the price. Almost all pharmacies, bullseye and such stores carry it. It stays well and for the person who is not used to make-up at all – it is godsent. I suggest waterproof mascara. give the whole brand a test run, just to make sure she is not allergic to it. Do not go overvy bright, expecially in PINK colorway. All that talk that PINK makes you look younger is urban legend. After certain age pink makes you look like drabby doll with round painted cheeks.
However, if your MIL has never used any skincare before now, BUYING the best, most expensive stuff will not make her start USING it. Owning a treadmill does not make you lose weight… So- for now do not turn your life upside down to accomodate MIL’s wishful thinking of new beauty routines. I like face cleanser and skin care Neutrogena. Also very common and reasonably priced. Buy travel sizes and see if she actually uses them- then (awsome!) buy more.
If you can afford it and MIL agrees to it- the best option is facelift, but thats rather invasive in her age. So, a trip to SPA a day before your big event will do the most good.
The best of luck to you and your whole family, love, health and mutual understanding.
NJMom, when is the wedding? I’m sorry about your MS and medical issues. I’ve been at home for almost a year now recovering from my own medical issue. I ended up cutting my own hair and did without hair dye until a month ago. So when I finally went to my stylist I decided to do low lights with the almost black and left some gray since I’m not sure how often I can go back for dye. It sounds strange but I love it and my husband even likes it and he rarely comments on my hair. It’s not so harsh this way…I’m one of those women who doesn’t look good with red or brown hair so I was glad to figure this out for now. And I certainly don’t want blue or purple hair!
As far as makeup goes for your MIL, I would opt for a bright pink lipstick…maybe Mac’s Girl About Town. It would look good with her coloring. What color are her eyes? Does she wear glasses? What color and shape are they? What is her face shape? Does she have fairly dry or very dry skin?
Sorry for all the questions but it helps to know some of these things to be able to recommend anything or give ideas. I hope you find the strength to get through all of this…your daughter’s wedding is such a special day but exhausting even without medical issues. Take care.
Veniceshopper and the rest of you so quick to criticize….my MIL came to me for advice, not only on hair and make up but, on her dress too. She doesn’t do malls-she refuses, so we picked 3 dresses in 2 different sizes each and she chose from them. Now she is asking me to get her new bras. She hasn’t bought new ones since I took her over 10 years ago.
She asked me!
As if I don’t have enough trying to help plan the wedding with my own daughter. I don’t mention this often; but I have MS, the untreatable kind! As well as several other medical problems. But because she is my husbands Mom, I try to do whatever is necessary to keep everyone happy.
I came here to make sure my gut instincts were right for her. Not to have women chastise me and assuming I’m putting this on my MIL!
Some of you were truly helpful and for that I’m thankful. Others told me be glad we still have her. Believe me…she is loved and knows we are lucky. She is lucky too. There are many seniors who’s children put their elderly family in nursing homes and visit when it’s inonvenient. I know this because I was an RN/ Administrator and Q/A director for several years in a long term care facility. . I lost my mom at 70 after a long rough battle with cancer, my dad as well 5 years later. I am an elder care advocate. None of this is being forced on her. She asked us!
Thanks "Ladies". So much for support and sharing experiences.
Posted in Beauty
04.05.15 6:57 PM